Stephen Fry: If there is one [tartan] that you most certainly can wear, it is the Royal Stuart, because we can all wear the tartan of our chieftain. And constitutionally Her Maj is our chieftain. And therefore we, if we’re British subjects, can wear it, too. 
Sandy Toksvig: So I couldn’t wear it, then? 
Stephen Fry: You’re not a British subject, are you? 
Sandy Toksvig: No, I’m Danish. 
Stephen Fry: You’re Danish. Is there a Danish tartan? 
Sandy Toksvig: No! 
Stephen Fry: Made of a pastry of some kind. 
Sandy Toksvig: [laughs] Yes, that’s our entire culture in a nutshell. You forgot the porn films, you silly boy!